Daddy's Girl.

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HELLO SHANSHINE! ☼ GOODBYE

Friday, December 3, 2010

Take away this pride, this road to destruction.

Really need God. Really. The things I've learnt in school taught me to glorify yourself, fall in love with your works and be something. And to be something, you seek for perfections, you need to first see yourself as something bigger and kill God. God, pride is something You'll never want me to have. These artist pride and self seeking, self sufficient, self glorification, self interests and self righteousness school of thoughts around me are just so filthy. So much so that I realize I really can't breathe.

Teach me to see what is true freedom and beauty. Teach me to really know that the ability to create is for Your glory. And that this life is for a purpose, a purpose to glorify You. Grab me when I sway, hold me when I've lost my focus and to just take me with You in this journey. I know I'm called to consecrate myself, to set apart and to stand for You. And bringing back what You've given for Your higher glory. Teach me how to stand on this ground but I will never be shaken. Teach me to trust. Teach me.

Apathy is not what I'm called for. Jesus always counter-culture yet understands the culture very well. God, there's this cry I really want to be different and take this pride away from me. And all the dreams that I have, I want to dream them big not for myself. I really want to do something and be someone someday because I know I have something in me that will never be taken away. I always believe art for a cause, for Your glory.

But this is just so tough.

Felt very tired. Felt empty and lousy but I didn't really show. Too much of me. Too much. Need to know in heart not mind that acceptance is not earned through works of men. Need to know Daddy's love deeply daily. Need to get back to less of me, more of You.

Thank you Jaeson's songs, Sammie's testimony and buddy's sms. They all came tonight and speaks so loud and clear to me that I really need You, not relying on my self. (my tiny self and sense of achievements- pride). Thank you Daddy, I can do this, I can with You to be the Esther just like the one in bible whom is brave, a prayer warrior, a bright star and holds a beautiful legacy that people sees her as somebody but also sees the bigger somebody in her life.

"So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God"

1 Corinthians 10:31

4.08am

scribbled.

it's all worthwhile someday.

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