Daddy's Girl

2012-02-02T17:13:00.002+08:00

ho ho ho ho ho..

what a happy day when u get complimented looking awesome.

major ho ho ho..

i'm flying. =p

2012-01-28T13:27:00.003+08:00

有时只想静静看着天空
思想上帝。

上帝，我可不可以不做老鹰？

2012-01-27T16:59:00.002+08:00

生病了。

2012-01-24T23:58:00.001+08:00

With just You telling me so. ='>

2012-01-17T00:08:00.006+08:00

“小姐你一个人shopping啊？”

“习惯了。。做功课要用到”

（老阿姨牵着老叔叔的手）

走。慢。

回家路途想想

老人年轻时是怎样的

什么模样

什么故事

想到老师爸爸妈妈的旧照片

老师写说他爸爸用rambutan追kampung之花

原来每个人也有故事

突然想到自己的爸爸妈妈

很想哭

妈妈说今年新年大家会去旅行。。

而我，不会去。

今年新年

是安静。

回到家。现在。

很想说话。

原来也有很需要被爱的时候

选择去更加爱他人

那份爱也会感染自己

1+1=3

值得不值得再也不是理论。

做工课去

晚安。

2012-01-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

be the center of it all.

have a good week ahead! (:

2012-01-14T05:33:00.005+08:00

At night.. feel like doing cards.

Making things and go offline always make me feel more alive.

Ended up start making a lot things. Start wrapping gift, writing letter and etc.

Somehow.. they look like a series and it's unintended.

Turns out quite nice eh? (:

Broke my own rule, it's 5.47am now.

I must be crazy.

2012-01-13T00:26:00.002+08:00

so blessed to be in school.
so blessed. (:

2012-01-11T23:35:00.003+08:00

Dear Esther,
加油！加油
Work hard! & find your voice soon!

Best wishes

_______________
5/1/12

感动。=')

我喜欢有故事的人。

就特别的感情，
也特别心里都会有这些人。

听一首歌吧！奶茶笑得很开心。小孩子傻傻的笑，很少见。

2012-01-09T01:07:00.002+08:00

Since when the phone stop having calls for a good chat or even receive a short sms to just make people have a good smile.
I think it's an aging issue.

good night world.

2011-12-27T22:43:00.002+08:00

你的脆弱很美丽
因为这样你是刚强的。

2011-12-27T02:26:00.002+08:00

wahh. so tired.

Always good to spend time with family.

Now back to camp, back to planning, back to work. (:

Hopefully before school starts and all the crazy stuff starts coming after one another, find rest my soul once again.
Feel like just take one day out to have silent retreat again.

2011-12-26T01:35:00.002+08:00

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means

Christmas.. I always like to be at home, just lie on my bed then start to imagine..and talk to Him.
Ahhh. it's been years.

Big Daddy, I love you.
I wonder what do you get each year for your birthday...

2011-12-21T16:18:00.002+08:00

"Perhaps the argument for the inclusivity of truth was never meant to be an end. There's finally peace, knowing that it was no mistake how in the quest to find purpose and meaning to life, the different stories conjured by man displayed uncanny similarities. For You were the archetype of all men, and in You, was the archetype of those stories. Yet, though it was also You who differentiated this particular story, there can be a celebration of and rejoicing over those similarities. For it only shows that You are far too immense and uncontainable for representations of Your likeness to be confined by the lines of separation drawn by man."

Beautifully written by Fiona.

2011-12-20T11:45:00.002+08:00

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

There are no signs and wonders, no special revelation, no prophet and no one even mentions God. Yet the way the story is told makes it clear that, even when God is most hidden, He is still present, working to protect and deliver His chosen people.

2011-12-20T01:54:00.003+08:00

想。。多陪陪爸爸妈妈。。
想。。多关心组员。。
想。。多找大家聚餐。。
想。。多给校工们一点圣诞爱心。。

想。。做卡片给大家。。

时间。多一点可以吗？
就。。忙时，更想静静安静祷告。

2011-12-14T23:48:00.003+08:00

Children can do great things for the Lord.
Use words wisely, use love greatly.

(:

2011-12-11T23:45:00.004+08:00

好朋友。为你们。(:

幸福。

好感动。

2011-12-11T00:58:00.002+08:00

2011-12-05T03:35:00.003+08:00

we never know how limited our imagination upon heaven is until we really imagine.

2011-12-03T02:30:00.003+08:00

说话。

2011-12-02T04:01:00.003+08:00

Bought whole loads of stuff back today for serene, tracy, hooiming, prisc, qingling, vanessa!

Because today is shopping-for-birthday-presents day! (And I gotta buy everything in one shot!)

I think birthdays are important. It's a day you can officially show love and won't feel shy to express and more importantly the birthday person won't feel awkward receiving all your crazy love and encouragements. :D

Bought some nice notebooks as christmas presents for cellgroup girls also. hehe.

don't think they know i have a blog. so is okay! =p

Gotta be a very busy week ahead. Still headache for some internal cf stuff. =(

Haven't read up and do write up about Revelation, haven't finish post process seniors' long waited graduation photos, haven't think of what to wear for birthday parties, wedding and make cards/wrap gifts and oh well, that's all that's more urgent for now.

But thank God manage to some spend time with a few cg girls yesterday and play badminton with classmate. (:

Hope I have some time to make nice christmas cards these few weeks. And hope that I could organize some stuff to organize people together. For cf cg, for older teenz, for sisters leaders. hmmmmmm...

I don't know is this psychological or what. I feel not so tired to just do all these non academic related stuff when I only sleep so little these few days.

ahh. 4.22am already. Gotta sleep and head down to school's library tmr for some discussions on next semester's time table planning.

ciao.

What's Christmas suppose to be for you?

2011-11-30T07:07:00.005+08:00

Everytime when I think of how to lead or getting people to be driven/motivated I get very stressed out.

Daddy, teach me not to be Martha.

Martha's hand is good, but Mary's heart is equally important.

Not losing out the big picture to just come by You to just spend time with You.

Am tired. whoa.

2011-11-26T03:26:00.004+08:00

小草

大树

有没有想过。。

小草是怎样看大树的，大树又是怎样看小草呢？

如果它们会说话。(:

上帝爸爸又是怎样看我的。

Am I good and faithful, pleasing to you?

Okay, time to study.

2011-11-21T19:29:00.000+08:00

THIS IS SO THE HOLIDAYS.

2011-11-21T00:43:00.002+08:00

莫名的感触，感谢。

谢谢妈妈小时候就不忌讳我们去explore, 没有让我们咬着金汤匙，所以现在特别对各阶层的人事物有特别的感情。以前每次都喜欢去阿嬷家，因为有海边。妈妈会带我们去玩水，吃冰。如果阿嬷那边的古庙有拜拜，就有大戏看。高兴不是因为有大戏，是因为可以玩tikam, 买玩具，买零食。以前有灯的yoyo 是最帅的，我们家就有。哈哈哈。还有盯盯糖，kacang puteh. （：

想到很多一景一物，虽然没有以前这么热闹，还是很有味道。

人越来越少。

小时候的好奇变成现在一种欣赏。

今天好lucky，再一次有那种感觉。

回到很多小时候的记忆，很多忘了的感觉。

没带相机。不过没关系。

（：

我新加坡同学常说我活在他们公公婆婆的年代。

"The things you know are really fading traditions"

给你们一首歌。

很有意思的词。

Dear Daddy God, thank you for many happy and interesting childhood memories. Thank you for family, home and this journey of growing up. Simply thank you. (:

相片内底那个纯情的世界 你听着车加拢载  

你答应过带阮去的所在 到最后你拢没来  

相片的纸 亲像刀那么利  

阮的悲哀 现在才知  

照片里一整个消失的年代 很想知道个大概  

关于空气的味道我还在猜 想像樱花都还在  

墙角青苔 总是绿得太快  

回忆慢慢 慢慢爬起来  

煮一杯 热咖啡 喝一些 固执的以为  

我们一直到最后才学会 哭泣时候谁安慰  

啊咿啊~ 我们还有什么剩下  

回家吧 声音沙哑  

只是想找人说说话  

所以呀 别让牵挂  

变成一种孤单害怕  

我们一直到最后才学会 哭泣时候谁安慰  

而成长让人觉得累 却已没有办法后退  

而成长让人觉得累 却已没有办法后退

啊咿啊~ 转眼之间已经长大  

啊咿啊~ 转眼之间已经长大  

啊咿啊~ 开始跟理想磨擦  

啊咿啊~ 梦与现实的落差  

啊咿啊~ 我们好笑的在挣扎  

雨在下 家乡竹籬笆  

南下的风轻轻刮  

告别了繁华 将行李卸下  

我们回家~  

 墙壁上老挂钟 是过去某个时空 我说你就懂  

已经消失的生活 是不可能再重头 我说你难过  

客厅里的裁缝机 是否再发出声音 我说你伤心  

回到儿时的街道 是不安夹杂心跳 我说你微笑

2011-11-19T00:57:00.002+08:00

看了那些年。。

其实也还好。哈哈。

那些年你又多执著。

不甘心的原因后果。

＝'>

2011-11-18T14:35:00.002+08:00

nua nua nua.

Watched The Adventure of Tin Tin and going to watch 那些年，我们一起追的女孩.

Sleep till 自然醒.

It's time to go read my notes and sit for exam in 10 days time. (:

2011-11-17T03:28:00.002+08:00

How can we dream when we are all so occupied with our own stuff.

Big Daddy, teach us how to dream for you.

There are so many things I want to know about You and what You're thinking. hehe.

Hungry and thirsty.

2011-11-15T00:51:00.003+08:00

时。失。始。试。饰

2011-11-12T01:38:00.001+08:00

Amanda + Jacob | Feature from Paperback Films on Vimeo.

i thought the sparklers were a bit stupid duh. haha. =p

2011-11-08T23:35:00.002+08:00

痕迹。

仍然美丽。

淡淡笑过吧！

Nikon FM3A/Kodak 100 T-Max

还是最爱darkroom (:

2011-11-05T03:34:00.003+08:00

exam stress. everyone's going crazy.

but well, we need ppl like that to make uni so fun. (:

And I'll show you what is uni. haha

2011-11-04T23:04:00.003+08:00

星期四。

我想去走走。

结果突然想回家。

打包了笔记本，电脑，相机就伶了这些回家。

一路上就一直想。。家。

为什么我们会想家，什么是家，家是什么。

心中有一首歌。In Christ Alone.

"In Christ alone, my hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song.. till He returns and calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand"

一边走一边唱，心里很感动。(:

I enjoy everytime sitting in the car and just pour out everything to daddy. Although I'll always say he don't understand, I always feel so loved to just talk to him. And eventhough sometimes I am a bit headstrong to think that his experiences of life are irrelevant, deep down I know this is how the sad world we're living in. I secretly took those advices in life but never want to admit that. haha. Children, always obey your parents. Really, they are people that go through a lot and their experiences are gold.

He bought me black pepper crab. We all watched tv and enjoy the crab. Apparently there's this new channel 8 drama which they keep telling me it's really good. Enjoy moment like this. Cozy and loved. (:

The whole night, I lied on the bed. Just keep thinking, reflecting about the things profs say, about what God promised. Pretty much feel like what Van Gogh felt (I think). I remember reading from a book of his diary, where there's a part he wrote he felt happy lying on his own bed just because he's at home. (:

I don't think he's insane. I think he's just a very mistaken person who is very honest in his emotions. (Sometimes, I really feel him for some reason)

I truly understand why God calls us child.

Stephen the rabbi says "self discovery is hardly a smooth journey especially for artists"

2011-11-01T21:06:00.002+08:00

字字句句都给我力量。
深藏在心的话语可能别人听不到也听不懂
但又将谁的话语坚固自己的心呢？

勇敢。
喜悦的儿女。
天父爸爸说 “不用别的，酱就够了，我喜悦你。”

2011-11-01T19:21:00.002+08:00

"This sem you seem quite lost, I'm not sure is the project or you. Then you go like "Ahhh.. I don't want to be designer". You want to do design or not?"

话。

原来，有重量。

2011-11-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

Oh no.

Flood in Thailand is getting worse.

Anything I can do besides praying and donating money to FES? hmm..

Apparently, my prof buys my idea of bawang jiwang.

BAWANG JIWANG TYPEFACE WOOT!

2011-10-29T17:01:00.000+08:00

生病了。

2011-10-27T15:08:00.001+08:00

now.

i feel the stress

2011-10-24T23:33:00.004+08:00

serendah.com

I always wanted a tree house or a glasshouse in the nature. (:

2011-10-23T00:54:00.002+08:00

not emo anyway, but just somehow keep looping this song.

strange.

2011-10-22T13:05:00.004+08:00

what a lovely shanshine saturday morning!

Alarm set at 7am to go market but fail. Ended up 9am only went to market.

Doing a series about insignificant unsung hero and wish to capture portraits of people at work, those who are marginalized but happy heartlanders.

Don't really know anywhere in Singapore that has the raw market that I wanted. Thank God for awesome friend. Cyan brought me to this wet market near our place. So awesome, really makes me feel like I'm in Malaysia.

A little bit uncertain what to capture, a bit scared seriously. Market is so crowded. But what gave me a confident booster is when I brave myself up to start talking to vendors. I guess I'm lucky. The first lady that I talked to, I asked her if I could take photos and she is so more than willing for me to do so. She shared about her children studying design also in Temasek Poly and how she understands like all the projects thing we're doing. Taking pride in her sons results, even shared with me that the twin sons' GPA. And went around taking fishmongers around her. It's so nice that people are just genuinely friendly and it made me open up to share about my own stories like how I understand them as my maternal grandfather was once a veggie seller. Lots of heart to heart stories exchange, simple conversations. They're so cute. I promised them I'll come back to show them the photos.

A few stalls of course are not that nice. Some even thought we're reporter or here to give them SAMAN. But of course when we face rejections, we just smile our way through. There's also this uncle who sells pork, shared with me how younger generations nowadays will not step into wet market and there's no successor for their business. I can see in their faces that as if they're a bunch of forgotten people. He talked about how government nowadays also wanted to demolish wet markets and encourage people to buy stuff at more convenient places. But I think he's quite proud of the market when he shared like how good the things here as compared to supermarkets. Cyan told me the uncle took a comb to comb his hair (which I did not even realised). He's a bit camera shy and keep saying he's not handsome. haha. Singlets and shorts are like so cool for him. (:

I really thank God for today. How He made me feel so alive once again to be able to be a story teller and story collectors of these little stories of little people. I pray that this series will be one that really speak of what I see and feel. Haven't really got a concrete idea whether should I include other groups of people or just the market heartlanders. Will see how it goes. (:

Sometimes.. maybe really just open up our hearts, we'll see things clearer. And if only people would put down all our selfish pride, defensive walls and hardened heart, the world is quite beautiful right?

And also.. today I see a different side of Singapore, which made me a bit more convince that it is actually not a bad place. There are really lower middle class people that somehow I could always relate to and bring me smiles. And maybe they felt like a social misfit sometimes and I could do something to encourage them in ways I could too.

2011-10-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

I'M SO GOING TO PLAY THIS FOR MY WEDDING.

SHALL NOT SHARE THIS OR POST ON FB.

Later all wedding also play this.

IS MINEEEEE

ahahahah.

So relax lately. 7 hours sleep. heaven sia. 3 more weeks to all the due and end this sem, then exam, but I'm so chill. woohoo!

Helped Jane for her landscape portrait today. Can't wait to see how it will turn out. hehe

Recently so fun.. look out for secret place in school.

Found 2 so far. One in ADM near the carpark. Need to jump over the wall then pass through bushes and plants. And under the grass patch rooftop, below is actually a heavenly place! The other one is at NTU's entrance. There's this big jungle area where there is drain, a small place where air bertakung and lots of trees and grass. Need to go down a very sloppy hill. It was so sloppy that it's like a place in between 2 slopes. Haven't climb up to another slope yet, don't know where it will lead to. I think is the sports area. But it's so beautiful that place. I'll go take photos of these places one day.

Next time I shall buy a portable chair and just stay close to nature in campus but nobody is around. How nice. The special secret place, where I could talk to You and fall asleep. (:

UNI NEEDS TO HAVE FUN LIKE THIS. hehe

2011-10-19T01:21:00.002+08:00

怎么办。我觉得我老了。哈哈哈。

2011-10-16T00:53:00.002+08:00

Just realized so many needy people around.

Especially classmates.

Maybe God placed me there so I can be the light there and little vessel for Him.

So glad recently a few of those misunderstood chao mugger and socially outcasts start talking deeper to me. I really think.. behind all these masks, many of them are driven by fear and feeling unloved. Need to see humans like humans. Need to learn how to love and encourage. And I want to (:

2011-10-14T01:32:00.004+08:00

勉强的逞强

This journey is..

I've learnt how to be weak rather be strong because acknowledge u're weak is basically considered yourself an outcast of the society.

I've learnt how to give rather to receive because giving is painful, unreturned most of the times.

I've learnt how to grow rather to remain because growing is uncomfortable.

I've learnt.. how much You'd love me despite me being me.

where deep down there's so much insecurities yet You chose me to learn how to love.

And by loving, all these insecurities being stripped down one by one by acknowledging I can't love without Your love.

2011-10-12T03:20:00.001+08:00

why is it so hard for you to say sorry.

ahh.

why should i even care. =(

terrible horrible. ugh.

2011-10-11T23:01:00.002+08:00

finally this is done! (:

为什么吵架。=(

2011-10-07T11:04:00.004+08:00

Gee.

Every time I look into the mirror and rushing for school, I feel so =(

Eyes get smaller, puffer, pores get bigger and skin tone get dull. Aging. hahahahaha

Seriously, at the rate for my sleeping time, I think I'm aging faster.

And at the rate for my workload, I think I'll never try to want to get into a relationship.

Gee.

WIN LIAO LOR.

This week feels kinda weird. Have a lot school work as usual, didn't really have any heart to care and love people to drop message or to encourage. Days just goes by. Hardly sleep soundly. Cried a bit when bad remarks by group mates again. Quite sad Wayne gave me a C for my photography assignment and need to redo. But confident upzz a bit when Michael says that my coffee table book is a go. YAY!

Today, tomorrow, day after tomorrow will be busy again. Want to go home on saturday night, not sure can or not.

Today.. hope printing goes well. Feel like going out a bit further like town to have a walk.

Tomorrow.. hope the group project could be done and... to just build relationship. Not sure can make time for my cell group or not. Feel very bad for them, not being there for them almost a month. O level, SPM coming, hope I can be there for them.....

Day after tomorrow... xiao peng you.. I wish I can do more for you all too. And papa, mama, matthew, samuel.. (:

I think I better slot in time to do work, if not.. as usual, the week will begin crazier again.

2011-10-06T00:12:00.001+08:00

what love and grace really means.

2011-10-04T15:53:00.003+08:00

I want to watch this! :D

For whatever reason: scolded/rejected/self

stay shanshine pls.

ahhh. just don't want to talk about it any more.

If only this year end I could go travel (:

I really wish

2011-10-02T02:58:00.001+08:00

because some people are curious, they're not really concern.

shanshine, pls don't be gullible.

lollipop kills, remember.

2011-09-30T22:43:00.002+08:00

心画了一扇门。

一二三四五六七我的朋友在哪里

2011-09-29T22:16:00.003+08:00

Teach me how to love the unlovable.

God, I know when next time I look back, I want to be part of it.

I'm sometimes tired and physically in need of comfort and strength, let me know You're near me.

And before I feel angry, frustrated and upset, remind me to love.

Teach me not to complain, condemn, but contented and consumed by You.

Good night 4.05

2011-09-27T11:12:00.000+08:00

Take this heart
And make it brave

2011-09-24T01:20:00.002+08:00

because the world will not stop spinning for you.

2011-09-18T22:20:00.001+08:00

今天天气好冷。

好想去走走。

2011-09-17T22:42:00.001+08:00

又是一个不回家的星期。

But God is so good to me.

Landlord just gave me a pack of 卤面。

好好吃。(:

2011-09-17T12:48:00.003+08:00

Happy Malaysia Day.

Everytime thought of you, just have so many things I could talk about.

Been reading about Exodus. Oppressive, His mercy, covenant, courage, change and Home.

Qi Yang says maybe my FYP I should really do Home.

Artwork should have a voice, from the heart.

And design needs to communicate, which I am very weak at it.

Seriously I would die to do commercial work all day long.

And I struggle all the time. Will always turn my design into something personal.

Teacher says it's bad. But oh well. (:

What if I can always turn something personal into commercial.

Tell me it's not wishful thinking.

Ah... still struggling

2011-09-16T13:24:00.003+08:00

看见。

2011-09-16T00:45:00.002+08:00

would u put down ur artist pride and for once just do something more commercial?

then everything will be so much easier, more sleep, more approvals or applause.

but.. less challenging then.

2011-09-14T01:35:00.003+08:00

student ministry, studies.

I really can't, too many things to fix but I know You can.

重新在来一次。

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

2011-09-09T23:13:00.004+08:00

Michael: Why you want to do book? You know what is a book? How many pages you doing? How are you going to sell you book? Girl ar, you know you need to know how to talk to client and convince your client your ideas. You need to sell your ideas and show them this and this and how is it going to work. Your boss will see your works and think whether you make good design or not to employ you. Graphic design needs to be communicated and your ideas need to be articulated you know?

Me: But I think I don't even want to be a graphic designer.

Michael: *stunned* Then what you want to be? Book maker? Why are you even then in Viscom?

Me: Maybe do books, maybe do photography. I also don't know what I want.

I think I really disappointed Michael. He's the one who told me that maybe versatility is my style and motivated me to want to love graphic design during my second year when I was very lost.

First crit this sem, I think I made him really disappointed.

"Girl ar, Graphic Design III liao, not Graphic Design I. I need to see how hungry you are for graphic design and you need to show me what you've learnt."

老师，我已经很努力了。

可是我就是讲不出我要表达的。

2011-08-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

2011-08-11T22:00:00.003+08:00

Going to fall in love this semester again. With camera, shots and photos. This time with manual SLR and darkroom. I can foresee nights being spent in darkroom, much disappointment and much joy in it too. (: I think I'm too lazy to take shots after the Home project. In fact I think I am not going to continue it until this year end. So no exhibition I guess, but I think I wouldn't want to rush just the sake of being exhibited. Silly huh. Home project is something special to me, I want it intact to my heart, not product of the gallery.

I love Wayne Umehara a lot. In fact I think I am lucky to have him. Although he shows middle finger and say lots of vulgarities, I feel he has a soft spot for people. I love his works. Much emotions, much thoughts. How he spent time with his heart, searching what's in there that he wants to tell that is him. I think mainly also because he's quite a documentary/journalistic photographer, much things I can relate to it. (:

He spoke today about how we should take time to use our heart to do things and it could trigger and influence others' mind. And how we make stories, uses experience to communicate using visuals. Everyone is different. If we feel for something, do something because at the end of the day that's what makes us all special and our works speak individually. I love how he take care of his works and how he made every subject he took a hero, giving them stories. So strange, why people keep talking about emotions lately. Is this like some talk where all artist will talk about?

Seriously, if you ask me what I've learnt in uni. I would say, about myself. hahahahhaha.

Getting into an art school changed me so much that sometimes I really think I am glad I am here. Much tears, much struggles. Called for a greater purpose. Unknown but I better get myself ready. Less of me, more of You.

And yes, I need You.

So much thought provoking stuff going on lately.

What do you really want?

2011-08-10T22:40:00.015+08:00

Hans Bacher is willing to take me in his class!

And his works are amazingggggg. I mean who will not know aladdin, lion king, beauty and the beast and mulan? :D

What a selfless passionate man, who is willing to ask his student to bring an external drive that has more than 15GB just to upload his findings about images that inspire him throughout his whole life and tutorials that he finds it useful about softwares.

2 years. art. uni. people. self.

It made me realized that sometimes the emotions, the thoughts that we have are not weird but what a gift where only we have. We feel for things/people easily, deep and always leave thoughts about what we see, we feel. We can't really speak, the way we communicate are through things that we produce, the emotions, the art and just us. We record things that are true, raw or even naked. Even the littlest things, the tiniest ones. Often mistaken, often neglected. Sometimes confused.

We made every process of our thoughts, every emotions into things that communicate visually. So how can we not see, not speak and not feel.

The day we stop feeling and stop talking about our heart, it's the day we died.

I realized, in school.. There's 2 types of people, one is those who want to get a degree, be creative director one day and earn big bucks, the other is those who are just lost, confuse and searching to the way of the idealistic belief (myth).

There's 2 future outcome, either u're rich but u're constantly on OT or u're free but u're constantly poor.

I don't know. I just want to raise kids, teach art, do art and nothing big. Is it too much to ask? Or is this too big for a dream? Or maybe too small and insignificant? Often tease, often slap on the mind, by myself. I used to think Van Gogh is silly, I used to think William Morris is stubborn, I used to think many of them are crazyyy. U wonder why but all they have is just the simple belief in them. Art for art sake. Fragile, inferior and idealistic.

No, we're not emotional, we just can't afford to be emotion-less. Our hearts are the generator of who we really are and it is the most precious asset we have.

I like how this bible translation said about proverbs 4:23

"Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it."

If we really show you our hearts, that will be the moment where we seek for no understanding, but to allow us to let you see who we really are.

"This is my heart"

well said.

2011-08-09T02:00:00.003+08:00

2011-08-03T00:53:00.003+08:00

LIFE AS A (nice) DESIGNER IS TOUGH.

Brainless, emotionless, thoughtless designs

kill my creative cells one by one.

AND

sleep less, sleepless

for unpaid favours, underpaid task, act blur smiling not paid job.

Seriously, this is NOT acceptable and be able to compromise.

artsy fartsy shashine.

You're just too hard to be tamed.

Coz you're a freebird.

don't ask why, just shut up and work.

That's what Singapore has taught me.

Bleah.

SO WHERE'S MY FOOD NOW!

2011-08-02T02:07:00.002+08:00

siapa makan cili, dialah terasa pedas.

=')

2011-07-29T13:15:00.003+08:00

2011-07-28T18:35:00.001+08:00

staying at home has never been this good. (:
ahhh.

me and my garden
me and my book
me and my cookie
me and my camera
me and my conversation

<3

2011-07-27T17:08:00.001+08:00

2011-07-25T04:31:00.003+08:00

"You may be small, but im sure God packed an XXXXXL awesomeness when he made you."

no.
i don't take responsibility of lives.

2011-06-28T10:44:00.004+08:00

出门赶时间，就随便穿上一件得体的连身裙。结果发现我的鞋子都在新加坡，只好配拖鞋。昨天好紧张。在想，要不要去买一双得体的鞋，可是又要省钱还是算了。不懂该说什么，该带什么，表现什么。说了要找某某某，小姐打了个电话。拿了security pass, 经过很有礼貌的人，好美的电梯，很古色古香的墙壁。

感谢上帝把自己的心都表达出来。原来诚实，自信很重要。但最重要还是自己的heartbeat.
what does your heart beats for? If that's your heartbeat, it flows life you know?

很愉快的一天。被肯定，被鼓励，被明白。。是很。。有推动力？转眼，原来一切的一切 in His time and will. 虽然之前因为在图书馆兼职，觉得自己烂透了，很失败，过后又。。sigh.
可是原来事情的发生是上帝要我成长。

如果一件事情能够让你再次站起来，更爱上帝，坏事的发生并不在是不好的了。

她们问我 “ do you see yourself more as an artist or designer?"
我愣住了。我居然说 ARTIST! (I must be crazy. =p)

不知道经费够不够，不知道要一个人这么做吗？还是找志同道合的人？想想，又不知道有谁看得到我看的。很好的经验，成功不成功，最后有结果没结果。敢敢做。Maybe this is the "nothing is impossible" challenge.

Teach me God, prompt me for right priorities. If this is Your will, then let it be done. Give me a heart of humility and be my providence, my strength, my courage and my confident. Let me meet the right person and really make this Yours. To see what you want me to see, to listen stories you want me to tell, to feel the heartbeat of what's beating in Your heart of people. And as I document them, may this joy and hope of "Coming Home" share comfort and encouragement.

I think I should change the layout of this blog. Start to dislike the typeface, the alignment and length of a sentence.
Need to be more legible and readable. =/

2011-06-22T23:22:00.002+08:00

And like the sun after all of the rain's gone
The morning without any cloud comes
With a picture of Your love

2011-06-19T19:27:00.003+08:00

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

-

And always His presence is the best place I would rather be.

2011-06-18T11:31:00.000+08:00

I'm back from Teenz Camp and Bangkok! :D

More posts soon! (:

2011-06-04T14:49:00.003+08:00

Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

Selah.
Stop and listen.
Martha's hand, Mary's heart
(:

Adapting adulthood.
Responsibility and priority.

Yesh shanshine you can!

2011-06-03T00:27:00.005+08:00

Need to pull through my tight schedule.

Need to plan and do prep work for Kunming trip.
Need to finish freelance work
Need to think where/what to do in Bangkok
Need to do preparation for Teenz camp
Need to prepare portfolio to meet adults
and that's all that are more urgent to be done this week.

oh wait, it's friday now.
Gotta get down for partayyyy?

NOOOO.
haha. I think I wrote them down but I better write down when I wanna do them also. hmm. I have a feeling, I can't do them all by this week. It makes me happy to just think about working and doing things above. (:

And it makes me a bit down whenever I think of that depressing chair and monitor in library is waiting for me to work. Not been able to commit to work ever since after exam, people there are being gracious. I guess maybe I should quit. Why so pia ler? Probably you won't get it anyway. For parents and self, for less guilt to go on camps, trips, rentals, missions, materials and prints and hangout. Get it now?

Sometimes I wonder am I focus enough.
And is focus what I need?
CBC, TEENz, CF and a bit of TF.
(and one wiseman asked me to join Creative Ministry and it kinda bothers my mind a lot for many reasons.)
Studies, Library student assistant, freelance.

Definitely I don't want to be those that work so hard and get fried then constantly eating good food, going for holidays and stuffing self with materialistic stuff.

But I wanna work hard, to enjoy what I'm doing, believe in what I'm investing.
Want to fly, to see the world.
Want to walk, to pass through stories.
Want to leap, to make dreams come true.
(yadda yadda, I keep chanting that all the time.)

Big Daddy, You know it all.
of struggles that are beyond words and so much more than just work.
And when I needed to talk to someone and maybe just a quiet big big hug.

Life is not found in the noise, life is found in the stillness. Something to think about. It’s not about how many things we accomplish, it’s about how many moments we cherish. Enjoy the moment :)

Pray for shanshine!
And family! (:

Need to be still and pray more. Still not enough.
-
Watched quite some entertaining junks on youtube these days.
Media is powerful. Sometimes it is so true that a simple idea can makes whole lots of difference.

Oh yeah? I don't think so.
it's not about the speed, it's about the endurance.
Like some racing cars. dude! ya know? hahaha.

I think I might want to go on an online break.
Going offline makes people a bit more alive.
(:

2011-06-01T01:24:00.003+08:00

Digging through tonnes of photos. I think a lot are post worthy but I'm just lazy to put them online. Some projects and photos of where I went. haha.

And yea. I love digging old stuff and start thinking why/how/when/what is the story at that moment.

My little music and culture book. About psalms (:

I like this place (:

Will post more if I'm free.

Come to think of it, I should be quite free because I'm on holidays. (:

But not exactly actually. oh well.

Need a lot a lot of planning. Schedule is rather tight. AIKS!

Hey, I think really enjoy what I'm doing and stuff.

And..

Wish to spend some time for my cg girls, old friends and just people that have been missed for the longest time. To have a good laugh and warm chats. Eventhough I'm not far all the time, I feel I'm not near either.

And..

no, I'm not a busy girl.

I may seem like one.

But I would love to talk to you!

Sometimes maybe I really don't understand what adults are thinking.

Let's see how.

Not living in pretentious, I just know thinking gets me no where.

'To think is human, to seek the truth - divine intervention.'- Caleb Chandra

2011-05-30T17:14:00.004+08:00

Hello shanshine,
Sometimes when we ask why, we don't exactly want an answer.
All we need is that conversation with God.

oh ya, i feel like throwing tantrum today.
For the longest time. hahahahhaha.

2011-05-26T16:47:00.002+08:00

How do you know if u're a workaholic?

2011-05-19T00:43:00.002+08:00

就这样一点点的傻气。

我们长大了！

有时在想谁会干嘛，谁又会在哪里，谁几时会结婚，跟谁一起又快乐吗。

好多好多小时候我们担心的突然变得好渺小。

好多好多不敢想的都慢慢成就。

好像在看戏，在读历险记，在唱一首歌。。

在。。做梦

每次感触很深。长大了的小孩，只是长大却还是小孩。

好像冷的milo，还是一杯milo，味道还是一样。

年轻真好。现在也很好。

是不是搞艺术的人比较多愁善感

还是就是怪。

不要笑哦！

我相信这是一种天赋。哈哈哈。

因为是肉心不是石心。

用心去看！

二十二

你要成熟稳重！

上帝爸爸

谢谢你不管我们多大都可以像小孩子一样。

谢谢你的耐心

谢谢你将不完美变得美丽

谢谢你在每个句号里给我们安慰

－

aiks! last paper today 9am! (:

2011-05-17T13:56:00.002+08:00

前几个月吃饱得空凌晨4点偷偷溜进jurong fishery port。

（：

2011-05-15T18:47:00.008+08:00

一直都想飞。

为什么飞，飞去哪里。。

（雾）

里

看

花

2011-05-15T13:02:00.002+08:00

2011-05-13T00:14:00.001+08:00

五年级，表姐说我剪短发小像奶茶。所以就从小一直觉得长大一定要向她一样有气质。
（当然，久而久之明白现实是残酷的。不可以强求。哈哈哈！）

喜欢她的歌，喜欢她拍的电影，写的书。
越大越喜欢，明白。

勇敢又带感伤。

哭得稀里哗啦

奶茶。
真的很勇敢。
(:

2011-05-08T23:51:00.005+08:00

That day in train, I saw a family of 5. Below middle class I guess.

The youngest boy sat at my right, the girl sat at my left. Noticed both children had no smile, full of unsung emotions written over the face. Facing their oldest brother and dad, just opposite of me. Watching over his dad totally engross in playing games from the iphone. The mum sat a few seats away, looking tired but I can guess she must be very beautiful when she's younger.

It makes me feel sad seeing little boy with no smile thinking like adult.

It makes me feel disappointed seeing man behaving like boy.

An unarticulated mind.

Sorry yea, in artist mood. hahaha. (:

photocopy machine has emotion too.

2011-05-04T00:47:00.001+08:00

so cute.

hahah.

the girly side of me. =p
"I'm not crazy, I'm just sensitive"

2011-05-02T22:55:00.002+08:00

"My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."

TELL YOU!

Today, I helped my cousin to do some simple photoshoot for her bf's saloon. Just a favour not a paid job, my cousin gave me the biggest ang pau I ever received. So much that I couldn't believe it and it came at like THIS moment.

I nearly wept.

But, I'm going to return the angpau fully to her (or maybe just take half only). Mummy and Daddy think that I should too. (:

How generous and kind my cousin is, I also believe how faithful God is.

So sweet. (:

How how how, I can't help smiling not because the angpau, but how real God is.

"My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."

2011-04-30T22:25:00.002+08:00

aiya ya ya ya.

觉得干嘛要这样。

我会做得好吗？

突然觉得。。

很需要很大的心和信心。

2011-04-29T22:32:00.004+08:00

A bit peranakan. She looks comfortable. Not much flesh flash. Light yet grand. Love it. (:

p/s: dear future husband, please take note. hahahahahahah.

2011-04-29T00:17:00.003+08:00

YAY! A day to talk, to read and to have no agenda.
And to stay close to nature under the sun.

HOW NICE. Can't help but smiling. (:
Can't help but to experience the tangible love of God. (:

Have to back to one more project and exams! Jiayou shanshine! (:

hehe. a snapshot photo of HAPPY MEEEEEE! :D :D :D

BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE HAPPILY! :D

2011-04-28T05:39:00.002+08:00

"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

-

Forgiveness, faithfulness & grace.
Sweet.

Thank you Lord.

6.17am
Is time to go to bed.

2011-04-27T02:50:00.003+08:00

In January last year, two female NTU undergraduates committed suicide just within two weeks of each other.

In 2009, an engineering student first stabbed his professor on campus, and later jumped to his death.

Yesterday, a girl stabbed herself. According to my best friend and newspaper, they say "knife on her head".

This is so real, so close. How can we shut our eyes and do nothing.

Are people too fragile these days or education system here has a problem.

2011-04-25T22:10:00.006+08:00

You have your individual problems that are very real, sometimes painful, sometimes overwhelming. At the same time you have to think for your family, your business, your school, your long term future.

If we focus too much on the micro, we don’t see all that God has for us. If we just dream for the future and the mega picture, we may stumble and fall over the micro — our personal issues.

Sometimes the pressure seems heavy, trying to work through the micro and the mega at the same time! What to do at times like this?

Pray, pray, pray. This is the most necessary task of the Christian life. It is also the most difficult. The devil wants to distract and discourage you from praying. You are powerful when you pray.

Play. Heavenly Father delights in watching His children at play, just like earthly parents delight in watching the children at play. Play says you are enjoying being in His presence, that you feel secure, that you just enjoy being who you are. Don’t take yourself so seriously. You will make mistakes- lots of them. I surely have! We have not emphasized enough the joys of recreation, fun, humor. God loves it when we enjoy life — He’s the one who gave us life!

Praise. The battleground is our mind. Many feel like just giving in and giving up. When you praise, you are not declaring there is no problem, you are declaring God is in charge of the problem. Remember, a bird sings because he has a song, not because he has no problems. We have a song—sing it!

-
Needing hugs
Needing comfort
Needing encouragement
Needing love

Needing Jesus

through twenty-six summers

and twenty-six winters

i’ve laughed in the springtime

i’ve cried in the rain

though i’ve questioned the meaning

of some of life’s seasons

it’s true that they’ve left me holding on

tighter to You

2011-04-24T01:02:00.003+08:00

I left my thumbdrive in the print shop. Ran back to get it because my keys, my broadband are attached to my thumbdrive. It is so important for me to get them, I need them so badly! But when I reached, the shop is already closed. I didn't know what to do. To cut the story short, my friend who used to work there called the boss and asked me to wait for the boss at the bus stop.

Waiting waiting and waiting. I don't even know if he will come. Took time to gaze at the sky and see cars passing me by. Playing songs after songs. Finally got back my bunch of keys and stuff. Thank God for good friends, for good print shop boss! (:

Got back to school to do mounting for my posters. The printing is awesome, so pretty and I really love it so much. Guess, I still lack of skill and it has bubbles when I mount them, one even totally wrinkled so badly. Need to reprint them tomorrow. Many shops won't open on Sunday and that is why you'll always need to get your print jobs done before Saturday. Keeping hopeful tomorrow will be okay, some shops will still open!

Pretty bad day huh?

But as I reflect when I walk back to mrt stations, walk back from school to home, there's just this thinking in my mind. hmm. Can you imagine how God did all these stuff he need not just to get us back without thinking it is troublesome or reluctant, but with much love? Waiting aimlessly & keeping hopeful something important will be returned. Created something with much love for perfection but it turned out not the way it is and go all the way to fix it.

That day when I questioned about myself, on the way I went to dapau my dinner, God asked me is my studies and designs a form of worship and did I draw closer to Him. I ponder and (:

AHHH, sweet madness overwhelmed me.

2011-04-22T14:50:00.004+08:00

I find it strange.

When people ask things like "are you going church on easter?" or things like "huh.. u're not going church for easter?" (with weird stares)

Must we go to church particularly to celebrate, to reflect and to worship?

And is God's church just restricted to a four walls building?

I wonder.

And wonder about myself.

The Mountain from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.

May the seasons change, our hearts never change.

Nice video btw. (:

2011-04-20T12:45:00.004+08:00

One of my favourite photographer is coming to Singapore! :D

His works are sooooooo amazing! I wish I could have all his books in my shelf. (:

Check this out too.

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2009/02/north-korea/chang-photography

I think good photographs are those make you spot little detail and unfold story through the mood, the style, the angle, the colour tone and the emotions depicted by the photographer. Like painting. (: Not just aesthetically pleasing or "what lens are you using?" those kinda shots in my opinion. oh well. (:

Shall pick up my camera and do some proper photography soon during holidays.

I don't know what's ahead but I would really want to be a photojournalist one day.

2011-04-20T01:51:00.005+08:00

school. trying public art projection with yiqi. (:

man-made halo (my teacher says halo is a western term, nimbus is a more eastern tem. lol)
sunset (:

Too bad, I don't have my camera with me.

It's always about right time rite?

right time. yeah.